Yesterday the kids and I were making Valentine's Day cards. The table was covered in pink, red, and purple paper hearts and all sorts of things for decorating. We had a great time as the girls pretended to write love notes inside each one and my son dutifully signed his name on his. I was asking my 4 year old daughter what she wanted to write to her daddy and I on our card. Here is what she said:
"Dear Mommy and Daddy,
Thank you for visiting.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Love,
B."
It was very cute to hear her say 'Thank you for visiting.'; but I wondered if this was truly her perception of our parenting. We're always with our children. My husband is not working at this time and I'm at home full-time as well. Our children are homeschooled; so we're always together. Yet, how much of my presence do I give to my children? I school them and cuddle them and kiss them and read to them. I watch t.v. with them and play games with them. Their Daddy takes over the bath and bed routine most nights with them. We are with our children in our home all the time. When we go anywhere, we're near always all together. And yet, how much of my presence do I give my children?
That question is particularly piercing as I begin to make changes in my life to become healthier. I have let go of social networking sites; I have reduced my time spent online; I have begun getting out of the house to go walking with a friend 3x a week; I have reformed our daily schedule. Still I know that there is more that I can do to be fully present with my family.
Psalm 46:10 reads,"Be still and know that I am God." How many times have I read that verse, read the psalm, and yet remain unchanged? Listen to the entire psalm (it's short and beautiful):
Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
God's gift to us in this psalm is the gift of his presence.
God is our refuge and strength.
God is an ever-present help.
God is with us.
God is our fortress.
In my failings as a parent, this is what I want my children to learn: that God is always with them. God will help them where I cannot. God will go with them where I cannot. God will provide for them what I cannot. I am just "visiting" this earth. One day I will await them in heaven with their sister and other loved ones; but God is always by their side.
My children are young and in need of me still; so I hope to 'visit' for a good long time. I hope that I will learn this lesson and practice the gift of presence in the day-to-day demands of home and family.
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